November 27, 2016
1 AM
As I lie in bed, I can hear my heart beating.
It is strong.
This imbalance in me is not strong. I know, because my ‘teacher’ spoke to me in meditation. I was giving it gratitude for enlightening me, and that it has done an amazing task and it can compost and float down the river now…….
My ‘teacher’ said, “nooooooooooooo…..”……………………..in a very weak, old voice.
I am stronger.
As I reach for yet another hurdle,
I am strong.
The night before Thanksgiving, Michael and I were told about LEPTOMENINGEAL CARCINOMATOSIS, LC. We decided to wrap it up and put it away for a couple of Joyous Days!
Thanksgiving and my daughters 8th birthday, November 25th!
And, Joy we had.
3 AM Saturday morning, I decided to crack-er-OPIN! Oh Boy! That’s a BIG ONE!
OK!, So……Let’s do this.
Next step! Ommaya Reservoir, which is a shunt or port in yer head! My amazing neurosurgeon, Dr. Kent Yundt, (don’t say it too fast), aka, ‘Ice Man’, will make a small incision, dime-sized hole drilled out, yum, tube inserted down thru to center of mee brain. Close me up, don’t jack up my henna! I spend ONE night and ‘head’ home, where I go back to my ‘normal’ activity, which is walking around like an enlightened old lady.
Start chemotherapy, for the 3rd time in my LIFE! Now it’s an easy step. Just stick needle into bump on head! Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drugs of choice look like; methotrexate, MTX. cytarabine, Ara-C. thiotepa. I will do this for 6 months to longer……
I am not a statistic.
Throughout the course of my 3 year teachings, I know my purpose in LIFE.
TO SPREAD LOVE.
I envision a sparkly golden blanket of LOVE radiating out from every golden cell within me and my golden spirit spreading out and over the entire world. letting everyone know…
YOU ARE LOVED AND CHERISHED
YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR
THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO WRONG
YOU ARE LOVED
LOVE
Life is beautiful even when we struggle 
You do spread joy to others. Praying for you girl. You have go this!
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LVOE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE L O V E L O V E L O V E L O V E V O L V E LOVE YOU.
Thank you Kaci, for continuing to share your thoughts, your wisdom, your strength, your love. The power of love is immeasurable. What you send out, comes back. The boomerang effect. Thank you.
WOW am I ever glad I know you!!!
Kaci, the level of balance you continue to strive towards with your health and family and extended tribe generates strength. Thank-you and this mother’s love your way. Always.
Oh, Kaci
One more speed bump
You are so amazing you will handle this with love and lead your family through it all
Our love and prayers
Tony and Ed
Thank you for your exquisite golden light! And sending all I can
back atcha!
Hi Kaci,
Thank you for staying brave and strong. You brighten the day with your words, your smile and your outlook. Hugs and prayers!! Love and light be yours always!!
Can I get your address so I can mail you something?
Namaste’
Sharon – from Laramie, Wy originally
Hi!
Thank you! I’m trying to think…Sharon?….hmmmm.. Laramie….
please let me know how we know each other again! 😘
Yes, my address is
63134 Riverstone Dr., Bend, OR 97703
Love to you!
Go get it!
In complete awe of your strength & perseverance…my heart is full of love for you & your beautiful family…
I LOVE YOU sweet dandelion Momma!
Big hugs,
Joanna
Re-Love-ution! 😀
Yes, Kaci – yes, yes!
I feel your love penetrating the core of humanity, thank you for sharing and loving and thriving. I hope you feel my love blasting back to you with even greater momentum and force.
Thank you Kaci. This is exactly what I need to hear; I do acknowledge you as “teacher” too. Many many thanks.
Kaci ………..I am with you in spirit and feeling this, with you. You are amazing, strong, beautiful, and an inspiration to us all. The love and energy you share with everyone is all bouncing back to you. Let it give you strength and comfort to persevere….. in these difficult times. You and your beautiful family are surrounded in love and light, with the strength of your community supporting you.
You inspire me to focus on what’s important — love in the moment.
Delia Verna
Kaci, thinking of you.
“You were born with potential.
You were born with goodness and trust. You were born with ideals and dreams.
You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings.
You are not meant for crawling, so don’t.
You have wings.
Learn to use them and fly.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi
Sending you light and love and strength during this struggle. I am amazed/not surprised at all that you are staying positive through it all. You are in my thoughts. xoxoxo, Em
You have brought light, love, meaning and resonance to me and I’m certain to anyone whose presence you’ve ever been in. Lucky is each person whom your shining smile and fierce depth has touched. ❤️️
You have brought so much love.