September 9, 2016
My mind is so full of thoughts, feeling pressure mounting. Is it stress? Is it the lesions? Just normal everyday life is what I’m striving for.
What is your normal?
Usual. Typical. Expected.
Normal issues that a mother with young children face……laundry, dishes, dinner, driving to playdates. “Floss your teeth” is what I said to my 7 year old as she sang herself down the hall. My normal is so close, I can touch it, yet I cannot be fully in it. Listening to my children as they tell me about their day…smiling, but feeling as though it’s someone else’s smile. My mind trying to be present, yet locked in a prison of uncertainty. We were all so hopeful and hungry for good news. I day-dreamed of sharing with the world about a clean MRI. What a sweet relief we could have shared. True, it wasn’t all bad, the radiated lesions are shrinking, Yay! Still digesting the unfavorable part of the news today. Still needing more information, another puzzle piece added to the largest, slowest and most confusing puzzle I’ve ever done.
September 11, 2016
I decided today that I’m going to be OK
I am Healthy
I am Strong
I am Love
September 12, 2016
What ever you are going thru, it is your power of thought that either gets you thru it or sinks you.
I have been preparing for this particular journey at the present moment my whole life. Born into an amazing family who showed me that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. Even my extended family has shown me to never give up. The pure energy of everyone in my tribe has been the feeling of everything will work out if you truly believe it will. How very blessed I am. My life has been one of fantastic adventures, beautiful sights, feeling the competitive fire of running…
RUNNERS TO YOUR MARKS!
GET SET!
GO!………………………………..>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Always surrounding myself with uplifting, loving and super positively charged beings! YES!
The past almost 45 years has prepared me for this battle…or…enlightenment. I keep getting challenged with the scans, which then forces me to learn something new, going deeper within myself, peeling another layer away, finding authenticity of who I really am. Yet, just yesterday, 24 hours after being told that it looks like the cancer is now swimming around in my spinal fluid and with a spinal tap scheduled this week, and ideas of drilling another hole in my head for a shunt so the chemotherapy can be injected directly into my noggin, no thank you….I still fully believe that I’m going to be OK! Power of thought friends is your Golden Ticket!
Life is beautiful even when we struggle 
Life is full of a lot of chocolate and only a few golden tickets. When I met u… I found that golden ticket. U r a golden ticket Kaci, you have two of the most beautiful girls, husband who adores u, parents who would go to the moon and back for you and friends that others can only dream to have. U know have another fight, u r Rocky! We will climb those stairs together and continue to take charge of this fight. No one and no thing can knock u out… For u r Golden. Together, let’s rock this! Love u chickie
Kaci your strength, your love for life, your conviction and your reflection of your surrounding world are so wonderous to witness.
Thank you for your wisdom,
Much love to you all,
Courtney and family
“My life has been one of fantastic adventures, beautiful sights, feeling the competitive fire of running…”
You have indeed embodied the golden ticket: to truly envelop what present means. You have had this shadow and threat over you to force it–many of us aspire to understand it without that threat. Instead of pushing, you embrace. Instead of giving up, you forge forward. Despite your news, you smile for your children and thus for yourself. You have achieved the enlightenment few of us do–to truly transcend “normal” and be present whatever that present is, even when you don’t think you are or when it’s difficult. It is an honor to know you and bear witness to your strength, love and perseverance. My normal has you always in my thoughts. Sending you much love and “presence”. Xo.
Kaci,put on the full armor of God,those swimming cells have never seen such a formidable opponent! Attack them with hope, faith, perserverence , love and with your full army of friends and family behind you ! Praying without ceasing will be my sword in this battle! In Christian friendship, Peggy Apgar
You are an incredible inspiration! Chris and I read the news from our kitchen, where I have been making pesto while the cat wriggles on the floor, showing her belly, and and Chris has been wrangling over a work issue – this is our normal, tonight, and too often we pass through moments like these without appreciating their simple beauty. You are in our thoughts and hearts – carry on, mi amiga, in your wild passionate embrace of the here and now and what could be. We are with you.
Dear Beautiful Kaci. You inspire me daily. I’m in awe of you and your perseverance. Your beauty shines bright even in trials as deep as can be. The world is a better place because of you. Fight on Warrior Woman! We are with you in Spirit and prayer. I love you!
Love, Joanna