One week ago I awoke in ICU coming out of having a life threatening tumor removed from behind my left ear. The doctor said I wouldn’t remember that first day.
But, I do remember that first 24 hours, quite clearly in fact.
I was first confused, felt strapped down and being stretched to gigantic lengths.
Floating as if on water that was lapping at me
wanting me to fall in
eyes unfocused
searching
turn if OFF
STOP!
Then Michaels face right in front of mine
KACI, YOUR OUT OF SURGERY, YOUR OK, I’M HERE!
…………..calm……………………………ok…………………………………………………………..
hands on my body now, ground me………………………………………………………..
Thank you, that worked…………………………………………………………………………..

The realization of what my head just went thru did not hit me until a couple hours later when I was trying to be my jovial self and I looked up at Michael and saw the far off seriousness in his eyes. The kind of look of a man who is mortified by seeing his strong-healthy-can-do-everything wife in ICU after brain surgery looking like a blue skinny Telly Tubby with an E.T. finger glow.

Yes, I do remember the first day.