June 29, 2015 3:40am
Well, here we go again. On June 26, I was told I had ‘lesions of the brain’.
2 in fact. A small node on the front left quadrant which is not causing any problems…yet… and will most likely get radiated.
It is the 2nd one behind my left ear, located above my cerebellum, 2 cm, which has been causing my building problems since the end of May (headaches, dizziness and vomiting (last 1 1/2 weeks). That little invader is building a damn clogging my beautiful river of life called spinal fluid. Docs want to surgically remove that one or I may be dead in 3-4 weeks, obviously.
OK, well that was easy.
SHOCK, SADNESS, FEAR, ANGER, ACCEPTANCE, RE-ENERGIZING, REBUILDING
Michael and I took in A LOT of info, as you can imagine on Friday. I also had a CT scan to check for any more pow wow’s occurring in my precious body which just had the clean and pristine Bill of Health just 8 months ago, and what a GREAT 8 months we all had!!!
We will know a lot more as we jump back on the roller coaster of appointments today and prep for brain surgery Wednesday.
Just think! When I’m an old lady, I can say, “Hey KIDS! I got 2 rubber boobs, a steel plate in my head, AND! I have no idea where my left nipple is!!!”
I secretly look forward to that day
Seriously, you just never know what is around the corner.
We all have a matter of time to live, it’s how we make that time matter that counts.
And I ask myself….
Why do you feel so inspired to share such dark news with the ones I love?
A disease that affects my spirit, life, questions I have truly believed to be true in my 43 blessed years and every live and healthy cell in my beautiful body.
What compels me to share this dreadful news with the people I hold dearest?
The sadness that I see, hear and feel with the ones I love is…is….is………
just down right NOT FUN, AND I LIKE FUN!!!
Life is beautiful even when we struggle 
I’m wearing my Party Pants, and soon we can rock this life together. In no time, we will be back to sipping our wine on the front porch while our girls laugh and play in the yard. You’ve got this. You just need to kick a little more ass. Xoxo.
I only want all of us to grow old together. I as well was shocked and heartbroken when I heard the news. Sobbing and looking to the heavens asking why? Why my little sis? Why now? You are a light and joyful spirit in all our lives and I refuse to believe in a less than awesome outcome. I will be your strength in times of weakness so lean on me my beautiful and brave sister. I love you forever.
Thinking of you my gap-toothed soul sister. Much love.
Welp!!!! Time to release Wonder Woman with a vengeance!!! We WILL be growing old together and make fun of each others sagging boddies, well except for your perky ta tas:). You are going to survive this Kaci!!! Wish we could swap brains so you wouldn’t have to deal with this shit!! I just want to scream…F. U. C K!!!!!!!!! If anyone can beat this its you!!!!!! I love you so much it hurts my soul to the core!!! Let’s get this shit done!!!! Love your sis:)
Kaci I have never met a more positive, strong, determined, loving person in my life…. You continue to amaze me. I am sending huge hugs, loving thoughts and healing powers your way! You WILL have that opportunity to tell those stories as you grow old, I just know it.
Be strong as you always have been…Wonder Woman will win in the end.❤️
love you Kaci!!! Can’t wait to see you again and laugh…because I always do around you!!
Hi Kaci, I just heard the news. Our family will be praying for you. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to make this journey any easier for you and your family. We love you!
Vikki
Kaci you and your family are truly amazing and such a blessing to all who have the privilege of meeting and knowing you! ❤ You are in our prayers and if there is anything we can do, please let us know!
Casey, We are sorry to hear your news but we will pray like mad for better news. You are such an inspiration to everyone. Sending this with much love, prayers, and awe, Darragh and Bill Nielsen
Sent from my iPad
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Oh Kaci….this just SUCKS! I’m so sorry to hear this news….you are such an inspiration through your grace, honesty and humor through your journey. Like so many others, I am pulling for you and sending prayers, love, strength and healing energy. xoxoxoxo Keep fighting you beautiful, strong warrior woman!!
Dear Kaci, Jim and I are praying for you and your beautiful family. You are a warrior. Love, Jim and Barbara
You share it because it must be shared. It is as much part of your life as anything. And clearly you have touched and shared love with everyone you’ve ever met. I find the most resonant part of your journey comes from your experiencing life as fully as you can when you are well. That we could all be so embracing of life and our bodies no matter what. Much love to you, your husband and especially your girls who have the most inspiring role model anyone could wish for.
Dear Kaci,
We are with you in heart and spirit! Sending you love, strength and all the healing energy in the world! Your friends from Whitehorse (who are now in Quebec) and think of you and your beautiful family often. Love, Marie-Claude, Christian and the kids xxxxxxxxx
You are my positive light force, Kaci. I marvel at your courage. I know there must be some tough times, but you are one of the toughest Alaska girls I know. Aim for the bullseye and whack that cancer! You are always in my thoughts, especially when I pass the corner where you all lived in the ‘hood. Much love to you, Michael and the girls.
Dear Kaci,
Thank you for sharing so openly what is going on in your heart, mind, spirit & body. Your journey has impacted people beyond what you know because of your willingness to write so authentically.
This news sucks so much! But I am going to believe for all the BEST for you, Michael & the girls. You are a brave rock star & have never approahed
And you have never approached this crappy situation with anything but honesty & bravery! Go kick some ass!
Millions of HUGS from NY for you & Michael & the girls!
Love Joanna
Hang on tight, Kaci! We’re all cheering you on!
Well Said Wonder Kaci.
Your strength is so amazing.
I always have so much to learn from you power.
Love you so so much my friend.
Tina
Something Sadie reminds of often is to Represent Happy.
Kaci, YOU Represent Happy.
Always have, always will.
Thank You!
💗I have not stopped thinking of you & your family for one moment since I read your news. What a punch to the heart! I want to scream, cry, pound the earth with my fists, run as fast as I can until I outrun this reality & break thru into another version of your book of life… One where the big fat C word never joins your story…..
But it did…..
& I know you.
You don’t want the hurt, sadness, anger, sorrow that everyone feels when discovering your news. You have enough of that on your own.
So I will put down all those emotions & feelings, & send you nothing but LOVE & healing power & good thoughts, healthy thoughts, cleansing & pure thoughts!
I will not stop!
Go Kaci!
You are so strong & amazing!
May this visit with “C part II” be a quick one! TKO in the first round!!! You got this!!! I think it was your sis who said “Go Kaci! Kick Cancers Ass!!!” I’m screaming “YEAH”!!!!!💪🏼
I love you sweet Kaci!
May tomorrow go as perfectly as possible!!!! I will be thinking of you!💕
Dear Kaci, Your wisdom expressed in your sharing lifts us all up. Your words bring light to the darkness that can accompany chronic and life-threatening conditions. Thank you. My heart is with you, and your family, and your dear friends.
I always think of you, Kaci, as full of life in every way — and that’s how I’m thinking of you now! I love and remember the stories I’ve heard you tell, and I want to hear many, many more. Maybe no more child birthing stories, that was right up there with promoting birth control!?!
We love you………………. Mike and Jane
You and your family are so special in our eyes. We love seeing your girls come down the street to visit or maybe have an otter-pop or the favorite………………. a “Fudgie.”. All of you are in our thoughts and prayers……………………………… lean on us for anything…….ANYTHING!! Mike & Jane