As a young girl I was infatuated with my buxom breasted beautifully curved older sisters. They were perfect. I wanted to be just like them. I would lean back on the mirror watching in pure admiration as their 1980’s make-up and hair transported them to goddess-like stature. Growing up in Southern California it was mandatory to have multiple bikinis and deep dark tans. My sisters found the perfect recipe, aluminum foil and butter or cooking oil. Roller skating in Venice Beach I got to see a lot of my sisters’ bouncing bosoms sheathed in crocheted bikinis, me in my loose rainbow one piece and skinned knobby knees. I was always the skinny one, still am. Boys at school called me ‘The Wall’, along with many other mean elementary jokes about my lacking chest. So when I finally grew some “buds” at the end of my 8th grade year I was beside myself, knowing “The Wall” days were over! Well, I never became buxom breasted, but my perky size B’s would do! I took them on many adventures, from naked trampoline jumping in Alaska to bathing with an Ethiopian village along the Omo River. They fed our babies and I even had plenty to bottle for our good friends for their new baby. Now at the age of 42, my once long awaited for and adventuresome little titty’s must go, literally, on March 19, 2014 to be exact. It has been a fun round and quite an exiting party. I wonder what new stories these new additions will give me? I’m sure I’ll have fun with them. Hmmm….perhaps a Madame Lazonga mastectomy tattoo?!
Heard enough about the journey of my boobs? Yep, me too. Let’s move into the world of a place I never thought I would find myself in, the Cancer Support Group! “Hi, my name is Kaci and I am a breast cancer survivor.” “Hi Kaci.” I found the first group to be depressing, and thankful for the cancer I have. The woman sitting next to me was basically on her death bed, bless her heart, and speaking very slowly in a confusing way. I went next feeling way too upbeat for a group of this nature. My second experience was a younger group meeting at Chan’s Chinese. I was met by a masked woman and sat myself down in the hot seat between two crazy cancer women. I realized this after it was too late and knew I just had to grin and bear it thru dinner. Ordering a cocktail was much needed but didn’t seem appropriate in this particular situation. So I sucked down the free China tea. I didn’t talk much, which is unusual, just smiled politely and listened to my new heavily-laden-turquoise-bejeweled-thick-make-up and big-wigged “experts” who filled me with their opinions. Once again thanking these women and the universe for the journey I have been given.
I am grateful that I’m still skiing, even tho’ my legs aren’t bouncing back as fast, but that is temporary. Weekly reiki, massage, acupuncture and yoga have been helping me see the light thru the fog. I just finished my 5th infusion today. One more to go, February 18th, Can’t Wait!!!
Thank you ALL for taking this journey with me. I am feeling the Love. I’ve realized cancer is not my Life, it is just a page in the Book of Kaci.
xoxo
Life is beautiful even when we struggle 
Rock on, Kaci! We are doing the cancer dance too, cruising around sunny southern California in a cute little red convertible for the 9 weeks of treatment. Life is good! So glad you have the support you do and that I can be here to support my sweetie too.
Love you tons.
Just want you to know I’m here in spirit, reading about your journey and beaming you with my psychic good vibes, my old friend… Your description of the cancer support group and the Chinese food dinner was so vivid, I felt like I was there with you, enduring. If only we could wrinkle our noses and call a meeting to order at the Buckhorn Bar! Pabst Blue Ribbon for everyone! I also wish I had a magic wand that I could wave and zap out the cancer. Out of you. Out of my hanai mother that is going in Friday for surgery to remove “it” from her lung… after surviving ovarian cancer… You are a warrior and so is she. You’ve got this… I envision you in that jeweled beanie you posted on FB the other, getting that Madame tattoo… MUAH… and a long juicy ((((((HUG)))))
Loving you and your honesty. You are a beautiful woman. Hope the next couple days are gentle. xo Monica
My new niece or nephew is being born on March 19th. When one thing exits life, something else enters.
I’m going to take this as a sign that it is going to be a girl. I hope her tatas will be as adventurous as yours.
Wishing you all the best. Love to the family. Xxoo
Your fun loving heart and contagious smile are a great gift.
I think of you in a raft on the Tat, so strong and bright surrounded by all that water and ice.
Your inner warrior has always been extraordinary.
Oh sis. What an awesome post. I am the one who is infatuated by you. Your tall strong beautiful body and beautiful smile. Always such a good listener and the giver of warm healing hugs. Curves and boobies are over rated. I have no doubt in my mind that you will get through this with grace and humor. You are loved and admired by so many. I love you sis. Always and forever. Love, from your buxom breasted and beautifully curvy order sister. Ha Ha.
Kaci,
love your little stories before the info. you MUST write a book. you draw me into your story and i
always want more. I am so glad that Feb. is your last infusion, you deserve to be finished with that
part. please know that i am thinking about you and and you are in my prayers. give hugs to Michael and the girls. you make me feel that “life is good”.
loving thoughts,
They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Jo and I see your inner beauty made up of a deep strength and ability to take on this insidious monster with all the power within you, and when you’re down, you summon that power from within and defiantly tell your story in your blog, not looking for sympathy but as a source of strength for those who suffer a similar plight. This is the beauty of Kaci. Love Bill and Jo