Life is beautiful even when we struggle

June 29, 2015 3:40am

Well, here we go again. On June 26, I was told I had ‘lesions of the brain’.
2 in fact. A small node on the front left quadrant which is not causing any problems…yet… and will most likely get radiated.

It is the 2nd one behind my left ear, located above my cerebellum, 2 cm, which has been causing my building problems since the end of May (headaches, dizziness and vomiting (last 1 1/2 weeks). That little invader is building a damn clogging my beautiful river of life called spinal fluid. Docs want to surgically remove that one or I may be dead in 3-4 weeks, obviously.
OK, well that was easy.

SHOCK, SADNESS, FEAR, ANGER, ACCEPTANCE, RE-ENERGIZING, REBUILDING

Michael and I took in A LOT of info, as you can imagine on Friday. I also had a CT scan to check for any more pow wow’s occurring in my precious body which just had the clean and pristine Bill of Health just 8 months ago, and what a GREAT 8 months we all had!!!

We will know a lot more as we jump back on the roller coaster of appointments today and prep for brain surgery Wednesday.

Just think! When I’m an old lady, I can say, “Hey KIDS! I got 2 rubber boobs, a steel plate in my head, AND! I have no idea where my left nipple is!!!”
I secretly look forward to that day

Seriously, you just never know what is around the corner.
We all have a matter of time to live, it’s how we make that time matter that counts.
And I ask myself….
Why do you feel so inspired to share such dark news with the ones I love?
A disease that affects my spirit, life, questions I have truly believed to be true in my 43 blessed years and every live and healthy cell in my beautiful body.
What compels me to share this dreadful news with the people I hold dearest?
The sadness that I see, hear and feel with the ones I love is…is….is………
just down right NOT FUN, AND I LIKE FUN!!!

March 29, 2014

Can’t shake the depressed shit that keeps hanging on me! Maybe I need to clear my nightstand of the “Voldyne 5000” breather apparatus the hospital gave me, lotions, potions, energy stones, cancer articles, heating pads, tissues, little cotton bags to hold my drain bulbs in, inspirational books and CD’s….OMG! Does anyone else have all that shit on their nightstand? I just want to swipe it all away!! Yes, feeling a bit crazy and sick of seeing all this cancer crap! I want cancer to be behind me. I’m only 10 days out since I had my favorite left breast cut off me along with that wonderful TIT! Holy Cheese, what do I do when I take a look at myself, I’m really not that vain, but I guess I’m not used to scars. I’ve been getting emotional as of late, not sure why…..maybe the drugs, planets, cancer, surgery, kids, responsibility, not being able to do what I want! I don’t know! It’s all very intense. I feel as tho’ I’m at a new crossroads, one that really sucks and is very negative, depressing, and unhealthy. Or the other that is awesome, healthy, positive, amazing. That one takes work and right now I’m feeling so unmotivated and pissy. I hate that cancer has done this to me and that I’m letting it happen!
STOP!
I HAVE THE POWER!!!

April 4, 2014

Almost 6 months ago I found out about the BIG C, and here I sit still trying to make sense out of it all. With two foreign objects in my body, a bald head and nails falling off, I feel so far from myself, the self I thought I once knew. It’s like some twisted fairy tale where my life was blessed all along until the cursed age of 41. Do I believe this nonsense? I’m not sure, all I know is I have a ways to travel and my load is bearing down on me, or maybe just catching up.

April 8, 2014

Just reading my last few writings helps me to realize that, yes indeed, I have been thru the meat grinder and I am up then quickly down. but I will endure and turn all of this around. I believe in myself and my motivation to get me there. I will accept the down times and be patient with my body, mind and spirit.
I WILL SUCCEED
I have not fully accepted cancer into my life or fully embraced it. But you know what, right now I don’t accept this disease. I do not want to embrace something so nasty. I believe that it is OK to not let it into my life. I’ll ride it a little bit, like the mechanical bulls in Tijuana, then I’ll grab the bull by the horns and continue my life the way that I want to live it.

April 20, 2014

My husband, Michael, has been very loving and supportive, he does not go into depth about how he’s doing, at least not with me. I think he just doesn’t want to lay anything more on me. But the other day he told me that one thing cancer has taught him is to not take everything so seriously! YAY! This made my heart sing and dance! Can I still call him my neurotic New Yorker? I’ve been recently becoming aware of how this disease has not only just affected me, but the people around me too…in a positive way. I’ve just been thinking, ME ME ME. The whole ripple affect is actually happening! Strangers, teachers, neighbors, children, clerks, bums!
A bald head and an open heart are very powerful, and can change the way one sees the world!

April 23, 2014

I’m a 42 year young woman who just survived an aggressive type of breast cancer. I didn’t do it on my own. I had a fabulous team and lots of drugs. I’m now hairless, left breast-less, nipple-less, and CANCER-LESS!
Becoming so much more in ways I haven’t even seen yet. Everything takes time. The gifts of cancer are slow to open.

June 17, 2014

Hard to believe it has only been 8 months since Dr. Not-so-feel-good told me I had breast cancer.
HAD BREAST CANCER
Let’s keep it that way!
Tomorrow I start the final step in this twisted maze~~~RADIATION~~~ or I prefer Moonbeams and Rainbows, much nicer image.
Positive imagery has gotten me thru not only cancer, but life. So, for the next 6 weeks, everyday at 8:40 am, I will receive Moonbeams and Rainbows.

July 14, 2014

18 sessions into Moonbeams and Rainbows and I’m really beginning to feel the effects. Skin is itchy, burning and rashy. Muscles hardening, skin not as pliable. I feel as tho’ it is affecting my throat, maybe charring the left esophagus. All the “radiation” products I’ve been told that would help just seem to be giving me an allergic reaction. I was told August 4 will be my last treatment, and I wept because I thought July 28 would be it. I’m so tired of going EVERYDAY at 8:40 am. My 5 yr old, Cassidy, asked me today if I had chemotherapy. I assured her that I’m done with that part and now I’m doing radiation. “Moonbeams and Rainbows!” she corrected me. And then I thought the word ‘chemotherapy’ shouldn’t even be in a 5 year old’s vocabulary!
The past 9 months feels like an eternity. I’m physically, spiritually and mentally DONE! I still ask myself what happened to me? What’s that scar? Where’s my nipple? Why is my hair so short? Where is that Kaci strength that has never availed me?

July 25, 2014

Today is the 1 year anniversary of living in Bend, Oregon and owning RiverStone Adventures. What a year it has been. I envision years from now retelling our story, my story, my year of cancer and adventure.

October 6, 2014

As I near my 1 year anniversary of being diagnosed, I look back in time with wide open eyes. How quickly your life can change. 1 year ago a monster lurked on the other side of the fence ~ I had no idea. But, here I am with brighter eyes and soul then ever before. I feel re-born, learning, growing, opening up to a new me. I’m still in baby phase but I want to totally grow from this experience. Did this past year suck? YES. Was it the worst thing that has every happened to me? YES. Was it the worst? NO.
There has been many ups and downs and I know now that I have some work to do to keep me on the path of good juicy-ness!!! The biggest thing I’m trying to let go of is my EGO, the Kaci that was. I’m getting there. Also acceptance is key. I now realize that I have to accept this un-acceptable path in order to move onto and along this marvelous journey of my LIFE. Because this too was part of my story, and even in the darkness there is still light. I’m going to accept the darkness and hold onto the light, making it brighter everyday I’m here.

October 23, 2014

It’s an unusually rainy and grey morning here in Bend. The fire is warm, the coffee is strong, and the kids are in school. I will turn 43 in a few days and the day after my birthday will be my last visit to the cancer center infusion room. What a relief! A relief to feel my energy and positivity on the rise, a relief to have hair, even if it is a baby afro, a relief to just do the regular day to day tasks! What a gift!!! Everything has a new found sweetness, it was always there, I guess I was caught up the the BLUR! Slow down and really see the beauty, don’t let something monumental make you open your eyes and heart.

So, here’s to letting go of my year in the trenches, and opening into the rest of my LIFE!!!

February 5, 2014

There are events that happen in a person’s life that truly change the course in which you thought you had the driver’s seat. For better, for worse, that is a choice. Becoming a mother was my first big event that changed me for the better, of course. Sure, I was still Kaci K, KC-DC, Special K, Que Si (what/yes), Kacita, Madame Butterfly…, but birthing a child, my child, our child, gave me a new layer, like a chrysalis. I, myself, had to go thru a birthing process to become a mother. This took time. I was not able to let go of “guide-ski-bum-no responsibility-Kaci”. In my selfishness I struggled with that persona and my chrysalis wanted to emerge. Riley was two when I finally embraced what I had become, a mother, her mother. My new set of wings were finally set free and able to take me places I had never been. A whole new perspective on life. It wasn’t just me anymore. Michael, Riley, and soon to be, Cassidy, were on this journey with me.

Now here I am right smack dab in the middle of yet another “LIFE CHANGING EVENT”. The choices are pretty black and white:

LIFE       or      DEATH

Most of us would choose life, but with life there is always some form of death.

February 18, 2014

Today is a day I will always remember….My last day of chemo! It began 18 weeks ago, slowly being infused with poison…meant to kill and live.

February 22, 2014

Day four of the rabbit hole and I’m beginning to see glimpses of sanity, sanctuary, normalcy. I actually got out of bed, dressed, made necklaces with my daughters, and took doggies for a walk!  Getting excited about the little things in life. Was that one of my lesson’s? To not take anything for granted? I have so many loved ones around me. My parents gave up 6 months of their vacationing travel time to be with me. You know you are loved when you can be a grumpy bitch and nobody bats an eye. It gets to me when I become the chemo monster. In order to ground myself and everyone else, I apologize for my behavior to the people I share a home with. You should never let that kind of love go. You should never let any day be wasted or taken for granted. I guess this is what happens when your body and mind are threatened by an illness that can take your life.

As I crawl out of the hole I see light, but part of me is still in the darkness. I’ll get there again and my dreams will become reality, because now I know I’m not invincible and I have to make everyday count and mean something. At any time all of it can be taken away forever, or just a moment in  time. Fortunately for me it was a moment to wake me up and just smile at the simple things.

February 25, 2014

I would like to think that chemotherapy is behind me, but those dark thoughts are hard to shake. Especially when some of my new ‘cancer friends’ have discovered their chemo concoction did not work and need to begin a new one, or the cancer has spread. These people are just like me….positive, hopeful, happily holding their ‘last chemo’ posters, just like me. When they share this news, I feel such deep grief and horror for them which strikes a strong chord down to my bones. This scares me unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I think hearing that the chemo didn’t work would be worse then hearing I have cancer the first time, because now I know what lies ahead.

Yes, I am scared and that dark question will always be a part of my life…..Will the cancer come back?

January 30, 2014

After every infusion Michael cranks Jefferson Airplane, White Rabbit…preparing me for the rabbit hole. As the chemo takes it’s effect on my mind those words coming from Grace Slick’s lips swirl me into the depths of surreal dreams and cosmic despair.  Nothing is real anymore, yet, life keeps pressing on…

my children

my husband

my parents

my dogs

my chickens

my home

they still need my attention which I can’t give, nor want to. I have faith that I will come out of it, but when I’m there, I’m in deep.  

It has been two days since my last big infusion, and I’m waiting for the storm. I’ve strengthened myself with an IV of fluids, acupuncture, and reiki. I feel so close to the end of the chemo chapter, but I still have a ways to go. Cancer forces oneself to be in the moment. I look forward to having my mind in tact and growing some Hair!  I just don’t know what to do with my balded head (as Cassidy calls it) in the shower. Shampoo and condition? Soap? Nothing? I do enjoy massaging my noggin with hippy oil….a sensation I have never experienced. Or the feeling of ten pre-school children rubbing my baldness with their little hands, asking questions from the heart, so pure, open, innocent, wonderful! I love it, and not afraid to share the experience with anyone.  I’m even planning my token “Last Chemo” poster.  Me, my balded head, and my damn poster, holding it like a right of passage into the next phase of LIFE.  Anyone who goes thru this shit deserves to do anything from here on out and rock this world, no more stopping, waiting, wondering, questioning. You become a warrior….open, free, and stronger then you have ever experienced to make your life what you never dreamed it could be.

And here’s the song that makes so much sense to me now…………

One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small

And the one’s that mother gives you, don’t do anything at all

Go ask Kaci, when she’s ten feet tall

And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know your going to fall

Tell ’em a hookah smoking caterpillar has given you the call

To call Kaci, when she was just small

When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go

And you’ve just had some kind of mushroom and your mind is moving low

Go ask Kaci, I think she’ll know

When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead

And the white knight is talking backwards, and the red queens off with her head

Remember what the dormouse said

FEED YOUR HEAD

FEED YOUR HEAD

As a young girl I was infatuated with my buxom breasted beautifully curved older sisters. They were perfect. I wanted to be just like them. I would lean back on the mirror watching in pure admiration as their 1980’s make-up and hair transported them to goddess-like stature. Growing up in Southern California it was mandatory to have multiple bikinis and deep dark tans. My sisters found the perfect recipe, aluminum foil and butter or cooking oil. Roller skating in Venice Beach I got to see a lot of my sisters’ bouncing bosoms sheathed in crocheted bikinis, me in my loose rainbow one piece and skinned knobby knees. I was always the skinny one, still am. Boys at school called me ‘The Wall’, along with many other mean elementary jokes about my lacking chest. So when I finally grew some “buds” at the end of my 8th grade year I was beside myself, knowing “The Wall” days were over! Well, I never became buxom breasted, but my perky size B’s would do! I took them on many adventures, from naked trampoline jumping in Alaska to bathing with an Ethiopian village along the Omo River. They fed our babies and I even had plenty to bottle for our good friends for their new baby. Now at the age of 42, my once long awaited for and adventuresome little titty’s must go, literally, on March 19, 2014 to be exact. It has been a fun round and quite an exiting party. I wonder what new stories these new additions will give me? I’m sure I’ll have fun with them. Hmmm….perhaps a Madame Lazonga mastectomy tattoo?!

Heard enough about the journey of my boobs? Yep, me too. Let’s move into the world of a place I never thought I would find myself in, the Cancer Support Group! “Hi, my name is Kaci and I am a breast cancer survivor.”  “Hi Kaci.”  I found the first group to be depressing, and thankful for the cancer I have. The woman sitting next to me was basically on her death bed, bless her heart, and speaking very slowly in a confusing way. I went next feeling way too upbeat for a group of this nature. My second experience was a younger group meeting at Chan’s Chinese. I was met by a masked woman and sat myself down in the hot seat between two crazy cancer women. I realized this after it was too late and knew I just had to grin and bear it thru dinner. Ordering a cocktail was much needed but didn’t seem appropriate in this particular situation. So I sucked down the free China tea. I didn’t talk much, which is unusual, just smiled politely and listened to my new heavily-laden-turquoise-bejeweled-thick-make-up and big-wigged “experts” who filled me with their opinions. Once again thanking these women and the universe for the journey I have been given. 

I am grateful that I’m still skiing, even tho’ my legs aren’t bouncing back as fast, but that is temporary. Weekly reiki, massage, acupuncture and yoga have been helping me see the light thru the fog. I just finished my 5th infusion today. One more to go, February 18th, Can’t Wait!!! 

Thank you ALL for taking this journey with me. I am feeling the Love. I’ve realized cancer is not my Life, it is just a page in the Book of Kaci.

xoxo

December 31, 2013

Goodbye 2013, hello Healthy 2014!

It’s the morning of New Year’s Eve. The last day of 2013, which is just fine with the Kef-Ahmutys! Yes, we had some good times, but more then enough drama for a year. Cancer was the icing on the cake, not really good icing. Luckily I found the icing in 2013, or else it could have been curtains in 2014! Yikes.

I’m half way thru the toxic world of chemotherapy, then off to Mastectomy Island, straight for Radiation Rapids. I guess I haven’t quite accepted cancer because everyday I have that realization, “Oh my God, I Have Cancer, and where is my HAIR!”

My friend, Sandy, and I were walking the dogs, and I said, ” I’m the amazing Kaci Keffer! This was not part of the plan!”  Sandy said, “It’s not part of anyone’s plan.”       But, but, but……I’m Kaci Keffer!………. Damn, I suppose your right. This sucks for everyone. It’s not part of anyone’s plan, yet, 5,000 people are diagnosed with the Big C everyday.

January 8, 2014

As I sit here now in the familiar infusion room, where everyone know’s my name, I am amongst many bald headed wonders whom have cancers I cannot even pronounce. I feel blessed that this cancer I have is just in the breast which will be removed and thrown out never to be seen again. These sweet folks sitting around me have much longer roads to follow. The guy to my left is on his final chemo, but still has a way to go. His wife is always sitting next to him, loving him, reading to him, loving him. The guy to my right is missing a leg and can only speak in whispers. What happened to him? I watched his eyes light up as he shared his stories of living in Alaska working on the pipe line. What will become of these fellow cancer strangers? I will most likely never see them again. Our paths crossed…just this once~maybe to just share a few smiles and stories which may help us feel the hope and strength to see us thru this mess or blessing.

I’m beginning to see my family struggling with their emotions. Everyone is trying to be strong for me, but we are all human. My wonderful mother in law, JoJo, sent me a kitchen towel of a melting snow man which says, ‘ Everyone’s entitled to an occasional meltdown!’ So perfect!  I tell my family it is OK to be sad, cry, scream! Let It Out! Because if you don’t it may morph into cancer, and none of us want to go thru this crap again!  I know I’m supposed to stay strong and positive along with the breakdowns, but when one has cancer it has a way of giving you so much strength, positivity, and weakness it becomes exhausting!!!!

I have so much support and people love me so much, sometimes I ask myself, Why? I’m kind of a brat, always have been. When I was a kid I would massage my father’s feet after work, which I didn’t really enjoy. Now my 80 year young Dad is massaging my feet! He turns on gentle music, lays blankets and pillows near the fire, uses soothing lotion and quietly rubs them down for at least an hour! His wise, old hands have so much love in them. As he rubs my feet memories of what those feet did in my track days dance thru his head, he loved those days!

We truly landed in a magical neighborhood. I feel as tho’ we are surrounded by angels. They are all so loving and helpful with our children and supply us with nourishing meals. It’s amazing!

When this is all behind us just think of all the knowledge, power, and gratitude we will all have. Oh! and the fabulous new set of ta-ta’s, chi-chi’s, barroom-ski’s!!!!!!

love to you,

Kaci

December 17 is here once again in the infusion room. 3rd treatment for my 4 drug, 5 hour party. Half way there. I felt the most anxiety yesterday since my diagnosis October 17. So, I tried some anti-anxiety pills, lorazepam, and I was able to sleep. No worries on becoming addicted, I’ve only had 4 in the past 6 weeks!

What’s to come…. I feel as though I’m balancing on a deep and scary crevasse about to fall in….. or walking back to my raft after scouting a class 5 rapid. Saying      F–U–C–K    the way Scott Ramsey says it, long and slow with strange twang seems to help me.

I’ve told my body what’s to come, and to let all that toxic goo in to do its work and to leave all you good and healthy cells alone. You are amazing strong little cells working so hard to keep me on my feet and I thank you for that, this will soon all be over and we will grow stronger together!

Sometimes I see myself going back to my regular life habits, ways of thinking, eating, drinking, acting. Not that it was bad, but, I guess as tho’ I should be becoming some sort of cancer- guru- goddess, I suppose that time will come, maybe it’s happening already. For Gods Sake I Have CANCER! No denying my baldness, dry lips, laziness, wall staring, can’t get shit done or shit out for that matter!

I’m on a new path now, forced to be on. Reminds me of when my Dad made me run track and cross-country my freshman year in high school. I had to do it, but it turned out fantastic! I took the Woodbridge Warriors to state in CA multiple times. Or when Travis Reid said, “Hers’s your raft!” at the Blanchard put-in in Canada. But Trav I thought I was going to paddle with a bunch of other beer drinking derelicts! Nope Kaci it’s time you row your own boat in white water! And you know who jumped in with me and said, “I trust you,” Michael Ahmuty, we barely knew each other. What a great day! We even rescued a couple of folks (Mark Sebens, CP)  and a dog. That all turned out good too! Or, how about when Riley chose Michael and I to be her parents. We were not ready! We hadn’t even lived year round together, just fun and easy summers was all we could commit to in Alaska! We were ski-bum-river-rafting-fun-hounds living seasonally in the 12’x18′ Wool Attic Love Shack. We had a camp stove, intermittent running water coming from a 5″ creek, and our outhouse was down a sketchy path which had no door, faced the Alaskan northern winds looking over the Lynn Canal. Beautiful, but Brrrrrrr! We slept on thin camping pads, and Michael had to clean the dishes on his knees because of the sharp angle of the ceiling……but that little baby didn’t care! She came and rocked our transient world. And, that worked out too, so well in fact, we decided to have another one, 4 years later, Cassidy Kay!

And now cancer.      Strange to say, but I’m finding  cancer to be highly entertaining. Making one super aware of how wonderful a healthy body is. Luckily, going into this I started with a strong and healthy body, which is slowly breaking down now. After my 3rd infusion today I will begin the decline back into the rabbit hole, where I will wander aimlessly for about 5 days. But then my strong and healthy body will fight back and bring Kaci back doing what she loves, Skiing! I’m proud and happy to say I’ve gone skiing at Mt Bachelor 5 times! Telemark skiing that is, google it! Turn til ya burn, telly til yer smelly, free the heal, free the mind! I love it! I feel the burn in my legs, the wind whipping thru my ghost hair, ravens cawing overhead, laughter with my husband, and the sun shining down upon me once again.

So I will go down this rabbit hole once again, but, I will come out….. once again. I may be weakening which is temporary, but I am also getting stronger and more aware of what this LIFE is all about.

Kaci

I’ve given you the good, but not the bad and ugly. And, I’m the kind of person who really wants you to experience it all. So, here it goes… Last week, after my second chemo, was a bad week. If I wasn’t in bed, one could find me on the toilet. Lovely, right? I’ve discovered almost immediately after a chemo cocktail major constipation sets in, followed by ‘loose stools’, along with lots of severe cramping. yay. The day after chemo, the nurse gives me a shot (nuelasta?) in the gut which helps to boost my white blood cell count. This shot causes major joint and deep muscle pain.

What really made me sad was when my daughter, Riley (8), wanted to lie next to me and read her book aloud, but, I felt too crappy for even that and sent her on her way. She became the strong motherly figure I have always been and said, “That’s ok mom, you sleep well tonight, I love you,  sweet dreams.” As she gently kissed my bald head. Which was another part of me I had to let go, the hair! My sister, Andrea, and I had fun shaving it into a mohawk over Thanksgiving (tribute to the Native Americans), but, after a few days my head became itchy. So, I decided a vigorous shampoo would feel delightful, which it did, but after handfuls of hair clogging the drain I knew it was time. Andrea took the guard off and as both of us cried she freed me of that dying part of me. It wasn’t so much the hair I was attached to, but I guess just being bald now signifies me as a CANCER PATIENT to the rest of the world.

Basically, the entire week after my infusion totally sucks ass, and I’m told as I become more toxic each time will be worse. Wonderful! Now there’s something to look forward to! Two down, four to go. Chemo takes one right to the edge and then releases you.  The chemo portion of this journey will be complete in February. I’ve been told this is the worst part of it.

Michael told me that people who have down syndrome and cancer have a very high success rate. They just cruise right thru it with no glitches. Yes, your mind can be your worst enemy. So, I’m gearing up for another battle December 17th and trying to let my mind just go with the chemo flow.

Here’s to keeping it real,

Kaci

Cassidy is 5 today, or I should say yesterday, for it is 12:30am the 26th now. Can’t sleep, don’t want to take the meds to make me sleep, because in 9 hours I will be getting pumped with the most drugs I have ever had in my 42 years of LIFE. But, those drugs are working…the cancer is melting away, releasing me. My hair is releasing from me too. Big deal , right? It is just HAIR!

I think of how much worse it could all be! Don’t feel sorry or sad for me. Just thinking of the things that could be worse is what keeps me up at night. Yes, CANCER SUCKS, but, IT IS TEMPORARY!!! I WILL BE OK!!! What an amazing LIFE this has been! This mere bump just adds to this wild wonderful life I’ve been given!!

I have made choice’s, and I have no regrets. Cancer chose me this time, and I’m going to ride it and still have no regrets.

Kaci

NOVEMBER 15, 2013

I feel as though I truly now know the meaning or feeling of ‘HOPE’.

We got the results back from the PET scan, and Dr. Kornfeld, was smiling ear to ear. My prayers were answered when he said, “There is NOTHING on the scan!”   Yes, I still have cancer, but the scan highlights only fast growing cells (cancer). And, mine highlighted NOTHING!!! Which means all that toxic goo (chemotherapy) being pumped into my system and making me feel HORRIBLE,  is WORKING!!! VERY VERY VERY WELL!!! Dr. Kornfeld was amazed that in only 5 days the cancer is literally dissolving!!! He has never seen anything like it!! This new chemo cocktail they whipped up for me with the added new bonus drug, Perjeta, could be the breakthrough for the women of tomorrow!!!!

So, with this wonderful news under my golden belt of power, I have a strength and appreciation for the word HOPE! My sails are set and strong and I’ve got a hold of this one, it does not have a hold of ME!!!

Kaci